Rakhi Sawant ko gussa kyon aata hein….

Apparently Rakhi Sawant and Abhishek Awasti themselves or through their friends had tried to rig the SMS voting system, says the Indian Bull Dog’s special investigation report.


By the Indian Bull Dog (with additional inputs from the Bollywood Bitch and the Indian Bitch)


Well, well, it’s time for some witches’ or bitches brew – double, double toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble – now even Shakespeare would turn in his grave if he had to hear about the antics of one Ms Rakhi Sawant and her beau Abhishek Awasti and what we just found out.


Since Ms Sawant and Mr Awasti decided to file an FIR with the Oshiwara Police Station against “some unknown persons for rigging and false SMS voting against the couple, causing their expected, oophs, sorry, sorry yaar, unexpected defeat, in a popular program on Star, we decided to get our own Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot (The Indian Bull Dog – for those who didn’t know this, Indian sniffer dogs are better than the phirangi ones – ask the Mumbai Crime Branch if you don’t believe us), and Nancy Drew (The Bollywood Bitch) and of course the grand dame of detection, Miss Marple (the Indian Bitch) into the act - actually, Mr Rakesh Maria who heads the Mumbai Crime Branch actually asked us for our help – since he was busy keeping the peace and ensuring that apna munda Mika didn’t get too close to sweet hearts Koena and Tannu while they shake their stuff….


So we went around sniffing and bitching and got all the gully ka kuttas and kuttis on the job. And what did we find out: hold your breath guys – Ms Sawant and Mr Awasti and their representatives had actually approached our friends at Alpha (the popular cell phone store at Irla, in suburban Mumbai) asking them how this SMS rigging and flooding thing works.


Well Ibrahimbhai and Hitesh and Hitenbhai and all our friends at Alpha know how to procure the cheapest cell phones (grey or white or black or crimson or golden, notwithstanding) but didn’t know much about this rigging, shigging SMS thing.


So they asked Mr Awasti’s representatives to meet one Mr X - who has his adda in a next door mall and is an expert at cracking phone lock codes and re-flashing the RAM of cell phones, (required when your phone software gets corrupted) or installing special software for special ops on your cell phone.


So M/s Sawant and Awasti and co trooped off to the mall next to Alpha, which also houses some kind of Horror House and asked them for help. Apparently, our khabri tells us that they were willing to pay real big bucks to rig the show themselves, as Ms Sawant wanted to win at all costs.


According to our sources, Rakhi approached several “specialists” to “help” her win the contest through their co-operation and support and dexterity with SMS gateways and SMS messaging servers. In fact, Rakhi learnt so much in the process that she even knows that Jataayu is not only the mythical bird, but is also the name of a software product for SMS and WAP gateways. Don’t ask us how we know all this, dear reader… tsk tsk…. We have done a very very thorough investigation, friends…


And Ms Sawant’s former manager has even turned approver and told Mr Hercule Poirot and Mr Sherlock Holmes something that was really elementary: Rakhi Sawant had demanded a contract with the Star fellas promising her that she would be declared the winner of the contest even before agreeing to participate. The Star guys had apparently assured Rakhi that they would ensure that she was amongst the two final couples, but had refused to promise her the Cat’s Crown. This was also confirmed by our sources at Star, who of course refused to go on record.


Not to be deterred, Rakhi herself had tried to rig the voting counters by flooding the system with artificially generated SMSes, as she didn’t trust the Star chaps and had an inkling from day one that both she and Abhishek were being “used” by the channel and that the channel would “ensure” that she finally “lost”.


However, things didn’t work out the way Rakhi intended or fervently prayed for. When the Star technical team determined that there was a flood of artificially generated SMS messages coming Rakhi’s way, at the last moment, they decided to take matters into their own hands. They shut down the voting lines well before time (at least before the expected time) and declared the other couple the winners, leaving Rakhi to sulk and tear her hair out.

Well Sr PI Dilip Patil and his team at Oshiwara Police Station should know that this is an open an shut case… thanks to the Indian Bull Dog and his team of investigators. Mr Maria, you can go about taking care of our dearest Koena and Tannu, Rakhi’s case is QED…

Gladrags Mrs India chicks cry foul

By The Indian Bull Dog with additional inputs by The Bollywood Bitch

(PS: We wacked this pic from some website)

More than a few of the 22 semi finalists of the Gladrags Mrs India 2008 contest are terribly annoyed with the way they were informed at the last minute of the terms and conditions of their participation.

According to some of them who spoke to The Indian Bull Dog - on condition of anonymity of course - (dudes they didn’t want their husbands to know that they had secret liaisons with me), they were not told that they would be under contract with Gladrags for a period of 3 years and will have to share 15 per cent as royalty on all the film and advertising-related work they do and the income they get.

Well, my partner in crime, the Indian Bitch is bedridden for the moment, so we couldn’t check whether the contract period was 3 years or 5 years, as she is the only one who has a hotline to the gorgeous Maureen Wadia. But apparently, the Bollywood Bitch who has been bitching around with her cronies at a neighbourhood salon, found out that the first ten had to pledge their asses.. oops sorry assets for 3 years, while the first three were in contract for 5 years.

While about 8 of the contestants, who spoke to me requested that their names may not be published as they are also married and have in-laws to answer and wouldn’t want to figure in any controversy, besides not wanting anyone to know that …..

However, the gist of their concerns were: “Since Gladrags is not promoting them in any way during the 3-year-period, Gladrags has no legal right to demand a 15-per cent cut on the contestants who are not even winners or have featured in the top 5.”

Similarly the top-3 winners are unhappy that they would be bound to the company and the publication for about 5 years, which is too long a committed period for merely winning a contest.

They cited international examples where for the Miss Universe and Miss World, the winners were only bound by contract for one year. Well I told them to stop bitching about dear Maureen who is looking better than before and be a sport and accept her diktats. After all, there is only one Maureen Wadia chicks.

Not too long ago, Gladrags was sued by Lara Dutta for using her pics without compensation and were restrained by an order of the court from doing so – that’s what I picked up from some website guys, and I haven’t bothered to ask Lara if it’s true.

Another aspect of the event which hasn’t apparently gone down too well with some of the hot bods was that the judges for the grand finale turned up much later and most of the contest was judged by only 2 persons, including the organizer Maureen Wadia.

According to one of the top 10 finalists who couldn’t stop bitching, “There were only two or three judges present during most of the rounds. All the celebrity judges like Mahima Chaudhary, Malaika Arora Khan, Shabana Azmi, etc turned up much after some of the rounds were over, which according to the hotties on the ramp could have made a big difference.

Another dare-to-bare married chick said that “while Mrs Wadia was impartial and very judicious in conducting the event, since she was also involved in the one month training and grooming of the contestants, some outsider judges were required who wouldn’t have any sort of bias for or against any of the contestants”. “When you get to know the contestants on a one-to-one basis, a bias is bound to occur as we are all human beings with feelings, thoughts, emotions, etc. However, when the judges just come for the event, they do not come with any emotional baggage regarding any contestant,” said one of the top-three winning babes.

According to one of the babes who didn’t figure in any winners list, “Mrs Wadia had pre-decided who the winners were going to be a few days before the event itself.” What’s the big deal I asked her – it’s a Bombay Dyeing and Maureens’ event so she can’t choose whoever she wanted… tsk… tsk…

Yet another semi finalist chick with lots of attitude said that the winners are not being sent for well-known, well-publicized international events. The top three winners are expected to represent India at Mrs Globe (to be held in Las Vegas), Mrs Universe (to be held in Bulgaria) and Mrs Tourism, however, “these titles are not so well known in India and do not add a ‘big feather to ones cap’ in terms of hype,” said one of the top three winners.

Well, I am trying to get in touch with Maureen to find out the truth, but dear Felix can’t understand doggie speak, so he won’t give me an appointment….Well Maureen, if you happen to read this piece of plankton that your dear “girls” dished out whom you so loving trained for the last one month from 10 am to 10 pm, please send me an email at

indianbulldog@gmail.com. Please don’t reach for your lawyer; we can talk it out gorgeous.